RunninRev Newsletter March 6: My thoughts on when one thing tries to derail a good thing…and other things happening in my life and ministry.
Thought for the Week:
So here we are:
As I am writing this I am entering my final week of preparation to complete the Dolphin Challenge at the Shamrock Sports Weekend (that is the 8k on Saturday and the Half Marathon on Sunday). I reflected in last week’s post that I feel like I am in some of the best shapes of my life and I am excited to toe the line and see what I am truly capable of. However, I also talked about the anxiety that continues to be part of my lived experience in the lead-up to doing this race.
Now a quick aside: The 8k on Saturday has nothing to do with my goals. I signed up because I like collecting medals and thought the idea of three medals for one weekend sounded better than one. I will most likely walk or jog the 8k, and maybe help some of my run club mates along the course. I might even decide to just not do the 8k (I do not know yet…still deciding). The big day that I have been training for is Sunday and the Half Marathon (this reminder is as much for me as it is a note to you all haha)
Now, my anxiety often presents itself as “the one thing” that could throw me off. This one thing could be a minor inconvenience, but I blow it completely out of proportion (anybody else?).
Well, that one thing happened
(and I am going to complain about it…so buckle up, or skip a bit to my lessons learned).
Last weekend, I went to a friend's wedding in Atlanta (Congrats Katie and Asti!!!), and spent 8 hours in a car on the way down, the next day doing a lot of standing (and maybe some dancing), and an 8-hour car ride home (these travel times do not include food and bathroom/general stretch breaks). I was prepared. I had my massage gun, and my stick/foam roller, and I was moving and massaging during car breaks, keeping my muscles loose, and getting some shakeout miles in with all the travel (very important for runners or athletes in general who travel). I felt like I did everything right!
When I got home and ran on Sunday my butt hurt (for medically inclined folks it was my glute). Ever since then, I haven’t been able to fully shake the glute tightness and it moved into making my already unstable left knee (previous unsuccessful ACL surgery) hurt from more instability because I am compensating in my stride. It hurt to run. It hurt to walk, and overall I was feeling dejected because I felt this was the one thing that would ruin this race I have been training so hard for.
Now, welcome to my one thing.
(TLDR: I have a pain in my butt and it hurts to run)
In “my one thing,” cue all of my anxiety, bad feelings, and negativity. I tried to break everything down and understand the problem. My coach gave me a game plan to not over-tax anything. Generally, I just went down the negative rabbit hole of failure, chalking another half-marathon cycle to failure before I even started the race (raise your hand if you have done this).
Luckily, again, I brag on my coach who has done his best to keep me calm and positive, and even more so my wife whose generally calm nature knows how to talk me down from cliffs (also she reminds me how much I paid for this race and hates when I waste money).
So the topic is how do we navigate that “One Thing?”
Yes, I write these words as much to reiterate to myself the importance behind them as I do for every one of us to grow together.
The first thing is the calm and projected nature of those around us.
It is much easier to remain grounded when the people around you feel at peace. If everyone else is acting chaotically, what is stopping you from adding to the mess? Community and the support systems we have built around us are some of the fundamental building blocks of a healthy self-care lifestyle.
Now, if we are going to form this community around us for such a time as this, then we need to trust that community when we are otherwise freaking out or doubting our abilities (basically when we are in that funk).
This is difficult, I get it, and I am still struggling with this. Will this be alright? Will I be able to run Shamrock with no pain? Will the fitness I showed in the 12 Miler repeat itself in the half?
Honestly (and it hurts to say this), WHO CARES?!?!?
I want to believe everything will be alright, but am I putting too much on myself by expecting too much? My coach and some of my running friends remind me I am not going to lose fitness in these last 10 days before Shamrock, and all things considered, that’s what makes some of these “one things” somewhat difficult.
Last summer my one thing was falling off my bike and breaking my elbow (probably much more serious than a glute stiffness that in all actuality cleared itself after a week of easy runs and lots of massage and stretching), and I was upset because it took me out of running for 5 weeks, but at least it wasn’t worse. The “one thing” gets in the way of what I want to do, or maybe it gets in the way of my expectations. Maybe I need to give myself more of a break.
I need to relax, breathe, and listen to the wisdom of those around me.
It may take one thing to derail my mental health, but I hope to strengthen my mental health so I don’t get so thrown off. I hope that when these curveballs come my way, my mind is better able to handle them.
Will the doubt still be there? Probably, but it is a start knowing I have a community that is supporting and lifting me. Now I just have to trust they are right and trust myself to not get bogged down when that one thing happens.